2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa.

3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with
   left hand and back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill
   into its mouth with right forefinger.

4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (Resist
   impulse to get new cat.)

5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in
   bottle-feeding position, sit down on edge of chair, fold your torso
   over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's
   mouth by lifting the upper jaw and pop the pill in - quickly. Since
   your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what
   you're doing. That's just as well.

6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair.

7. If you're a woman, have a good cry. If you're a man, have a good cry.

8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat
   and pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the boss here,
   anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill and...Oooops!

9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse and think. Aha! Those flashing
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